When I was a child (I am 42 now) my mother was wondering regularly about why I would sympathize with anyone other than our family members at any given situation. She used to dismiss any declaration of other's humanity and blame me for being soft hearted. She used to backup her view by telling me that they do not deserve my attention. Also, I noticed that her advice was followed by instructions to give her attention all the time because of her tragic history of suffering. Gradually, I started to feel guilty for caring of other's suffering and decided to hide it from her. My sense of obligation to lesson her suffering lasted for more than three decades. Then I decided that nothing I will do will end her sense of resentment of life. After careful consideration, I got my freedom eventually after learning about narcissism. This step has helped me to understand why it is still hard for her to care about vulnerability of others and ended my relationship with her for good. What may disappoint her to know today is that I regularly teaches my children why we are not special for being labelled with any affiliation: religion, nationality, ethnicity...etc. and loving family does require hating others.
